I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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