What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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