Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
