is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
