It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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