google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Someone came in the potted fern
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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