Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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