You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
