Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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