He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize