Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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