from now on my penis is your penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it glows. i had to have it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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