it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
