after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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