i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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