I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
