people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize