soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
