it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
