Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
