i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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