so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
