I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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