shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
