Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
