she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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