I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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