I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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