I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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