i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it glows. i had to have it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
