10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
