Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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