i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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