Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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