I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
