Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Don't EVER smell your tampon
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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