I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
