Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
