he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
