would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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