I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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