Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His hands were made for my vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
