I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize