I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it's great music for shaving your balls
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
