I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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