What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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