I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
