are you still at the devil's house?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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