He is an equal opportunity slut.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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