Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
