Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
