Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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