fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
