She said her name was "party"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
