her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You left your phone here
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