I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
