you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
