hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
