yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
