I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
