I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
