Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
